Unicorn buttsex and other fun office talk

So...every now and again, I hear someone in the break room near my cubicle utter the words "unicorn buttsex"...usually in passing as part of an equally bizarre conversation. I never manage to actually get to a place I can see the person before they're gone.

Until today. Because I also heard "Keep your unicorn buttsex buttbaby candy away from me. That shit is gross."

The two individuals are contractors, youngish (younger than me) and both are gay. One is apparently married, he's wearing a ring. It old them how their break room conversations crack me up and they looked relieved, like they were afraid I was going to yell at them.

Fetish!Joe isn't speaking to me. In fact, he's actively avoiding me. I'm amused.

BUT! The priest was here today. (For those not in the know...a coworker has a brother who is a priest. His name is John. He looks an awful lot like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. In a priest's collar. This does things to me. In my pants.) He had a younger, cute priest with him.

Is it wrong that I know nothing about Father John's brother (he works on the other side of the building), but will spend five minutes in the lobby talking to Father John about his work (he helps run a charity), traveling, etc?

And now I have pretty, pretty, dirtybadwrong images in my head.

So...my questions are a little dirtybadwrong too...

1) Do you consider yourself a kinky person?
2) Have you ever found something arousing that you didn't think should be arousing?
3) Do you have a go to image/thought/story/scene in mind when you take care of your own...needs?
4) Am I a dirty old lady?
5) If tab A and tab B both go into slot C, does tab D go into slot A or slot B?