Unicorn buttsex and other fun office talk
Jan. 23rd, 2013 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenswordSo...every now and again, I hear someone in the break room near my cubicle utter the words "unicorn buttsex"...usually in passing as part of an equally bizarre conversation. I never manage to actually get to a place I can see the person before they're gone.
Until today. Because I also heard "Keep your unicorn buttsex buttbaby candy away from me. That shit is gross."
The two individuals are contractors, youngish (younger than me) and both are gay. One is apparently married, he's wearing a ring. It old them how their break room conversations crack me up and they looked relieved, like they were afraid I was going to yell at them.
Fetish!Joe isn't speaking to me. In fact, he's actively avoiding me. I'm amused.
BUT! The priest was here today. (For those not in the know...a coworker has a brother who is a priest. His name is John. He looks an awful lot like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. In a priest's collar. This does things to me. In my pants.) He had a younger, cute priest with him.
Is it wrong that I know nothing about Father John's brother (he works on the other side of the building), but will spend five minutes in the lobby talking to Father John about his work (he helps run a charity), traveling, etc?
And now I have pretty, pretty, dirtybadwrong images in my head.
So...my questions are a little dirtybadwrong too...
1) Do you consider yourself a kinky person?
2) Have you ever found something arousing that you didn't think should be arousing?
3) Do you have a go to image/thought/story/scene in mind when you take care of your own...needs?
4) Am I a dirty old lady?
5) If tab A and tab B both go into slot C, does tab D go into slot A or slot B?
Until today. Because I also heard "Keep your unicorn buttsex buttbaby candy away from me. That shit is gross."
The two individuals are contractors, youngish (younger than me) and both are gay. One is apparently married, he's wearing a ring. It old them how their break room conversations crack me up and they looked relieved, like they were afraid I was going to yell at them.
Fetish!Joe isn't speaking to me. In fact, he's actively avoiding me. I'm amused.
BUT! The priest was here today. (For those not in the know...a coworker has a brother who is a priest. His name is John. He looks an awful lot like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. In a priest's collar. This does things to me. In my pants.) He had a younger, cute priest with him.
Is it wrong that I know nothing about Father John's brother (he works on the other side of the building), but will spend five minutes in the lobby talking to Father John about his work (he helps run a charity), traveling, etc?
And now I have pretty, pretty, dirtybadwrong images in my head.
So...my questions are a little dirtybadwrong too...
1) Do you consider yourself a kinky person?
2) Have you ever found something arousing that you didn't think should be arousing?
3) Do you have a go to image/thought/story/scene in mind when you take care of your own...needs?
4) Am I a dirty old lady?
5) If tab A and tab B both go into slot C, does tab D go into slot A or slot B?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-01-23 07:09 pm (UTC)1. Fantasy-wise, yes. In practice, not so much.
2. Yep. And I still don't get why it turns my crank but it does so there you go.
3. Several, depending on my mood and how quick I want things to 'progress'.
4. Absolutely not. Or, well, if you are then you're in good company. At a previous job, we were discussing blowjobs (as you do) and I asked one of the other girls 'Do you think nice girls talk about this kind of stuff?' Her answer: 'I wouldn't know, I've never been a nice girl!!!'
5. Both! Tab D is an equal opportunity lover.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-23 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-23 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-23 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-23 08:18 pm (UTC)2. Yup. When I was still young and innocent... *g*
3. A few, yes.
4. Old? Naw. Dirty? Depends. When was the last time you showered...?
5. Tab D just watches and takes things into their own hands.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-23 08:33 pm (UTC)2) *thinkyface* probably but off the... oh. oh. um. right. yes. um. yes, i do. and it kinda grosses me out but at the same time not and yeah...
3) Oh, totally, yes :D Lots of just general feelings of being used, on display, a toy... yeaaah
4) l-a-d-y-?
5) It alternates between them. Like
no subject
Date: 2013-01-24 09:43 pm (UTC)I don't know. Maybe. I know so many kinky people that I think I've lost track of what's considered ~scandalous. Maybe we should do a test! Find me a really cute virgin and see how long it takes for me to make them blush. :D
2) Have you ever found something arousing that you didn't think should be arousing?
My boundaries on "this shouldn't turn people on" are pretty broad. I've definitely found some things really hot arousing that also made me laugh.
3) Do you have a go to image/thought/story/scene in mind when you take care of your own...needs?
Oh yeah. Several.
4) Am I a dirty old lady?
Yes you are. May the gods love you for it forever. :D
5) If tab A and tab B both go into slot C, does tab D go into slot A or slot B?
Well, if tab A and tab B and slot C are having a threesome, why can't tab D just join in and EVERYONE have fun?
no subject
Date: 2013-01-27 02:31 am (UTC)I'm only looking at LJ a couple times a month these days - I've pretty much moved my fandom-rolling over to tumblr, though I also remain active on twitter :)
1) I do. I continue to hope to find a sexual partner - one who will let me tie him up a little, too.
2) Oh, yes. I must thank you for a number of them ;)
3) I do. I have not ever shared, but would do so in private if your kinky mind would care to know ;)
4) Dirty, definitely. Old lady? Hmm... Only if you want to be ;) I'll turn 30 later this year and now, perving on the much younger actors of Teen Wolf (and "hanging" around with such young kids on tumblr), I am starting to feel like a little bit of a dirty old lady.
5) Tab D goes into slot C. Or A. Or B. Or all three. Whatever feels good ;)
no subject
Date: 2013-01-28 05:50 pm (UTC)I'm pretty active on twitter and facebook, but while I HAVE a tumblr account, I don't really *get* tumblr, so I only post to it when I have pictures to share.