it never comes out the way I want it to

[ravensword]

So yesterday I kind of rambled about sub-space and what happens when the drop happens but no one involved fully understands it and it lead to a lot of thinky thoughts on my part about the psychological nature of sub space, about the ways it is something a sub is looking for, either knowingly or not, about the ways it can go wrong and cause damage, about what a good dom does to get his/her sub through it and bring them back up to "normal" head space, whatever that normal may be.

I spent an inordinate amount of time considering how it looks from the outside, and how someone who maybe doesn't understand it, but sees it and recognizes a need to help might react.

Now, I have some experience to draw on here, having witnessed sub-space before I fully understood what I was seeing, before I was fully immersed in the scene. I had the fortune of watching a very, very good dom work his sub exactly into the head space she needed to go and keep her there for as long as he felt she needed, and then bring her back up with skill and love and an amazing grasp of the psychological aspects of the whole thing.

However, I was an observer, and I at least knew the right words for what I was seeing, even if I hadn't ever really understood it completely before.

I have also seen a scene at a club where some wet behind the ears psuedo-dom dropped a sub into sub-space and then left him there, leaving him to stumble around the club on his own and others had to step in to help.

But still, all of that was in a context where it was expected. Where it was a known phenomenon. How would it look to someone who didn't have that basis? To someone who was maybe open to new experiences, but who maybe was currently involved in the single kinkiest thing he'd ever done, and that being group sex that he instigated, with the focus on the very sub who has slipped into sub space unknowingly?

In the end, I spent a lot of time tweaking my story, trying to bring all of that across in the actual telling, and I'm still not sure that I did. Partially because it's hard to write a lot of meta while also trying to write porn, and while you can express the concern and the physical actions in response to the concern, the focus has to be on moving the story toward the conclusion, not exploring the head space of the not-dom who finds himself trying to guide the sub up without knowing exactly what is going on.

So...um....all of that to say...I finished the story....but I'm not sure it lives up to my expectations for the story.



And yes, I know a lot of the folks who may read my journal have no real experience in the world I'm rambling about, and sometimes I worry that I might scare y'all away...but then I also hope that I might serve as your window into a world you don't understand and maybe help you understand it a little?

I do hope y'all will feel free to discuss it, here or via email, if you feel compelled to...ask questions and explore your own rambling meta thoughts about something I've said.

And yes, another busy day. Off to the salt mines. Or something.

You:

~) Violet or Purple?
!) Why is the coffee gone?
@) Do you have a "motto"? If Yes, what is it?
#) When was the last time you tasted something for the first time? What was it?
$) If you had to sacrifice one of your five senses, which would you pick?
%) Someone left the cake out in the rain. Was it you?
^) *points to the left* What's over there?
&) Scarlet or Crimson?
*) Do you wear anything scented? Lotion? Perfume? What scent?
-) Ancient Greece or Ancient Rome?
+) Remember the time when....Make up a memory about you and me and some shenanigans!

Comments

[badfalcon.livejournal.com]

~) purple
!) you probably drinked it
@) um... don't think I do, no
#) *thinks* you know me and trying new recipes and new ingredients, it probably wasn't very long ago, even if I can't name a specific right now
$) My sense of smell is pretty shit anyway, so probably that one
%) Right because there would be cake LEFT if it was me?
^) my phone, a vibrator, my deoderant, a book, my bag, my pjs, Goldie, the wall.
&) If I start singing Joseph's Coat with you throwing all these colours out...
*) I sometimes wear a bergamot body spray, but not very often. My deoderant is apparetly 'wild rose and vanilla'
-) Oh. um. hmm. Greece, at a push. I think. But then the Romans.. um... that's a much harder question than it should be! I'm fascinated by both societies!
+) ... you, me and Steve ended up in jail, you'd lost one shoe, my bra was missing and somehow Steve was wearing his jeans backwards. We never did find out where Kane ended up, did we?

[ravensword.livejournal.com]

I have issues deciding between Greece and Rome, that's why I asked the question. LOL.

+) That was a wild weekend, good job Kane eventually bailed us out though. Not sure how I'd explain that to my mommy.

[cielamara.livejournal.com]

~) Violet or Purple?
Violet.

!) Why is the coffee gone?
Because I didn't sleep much last night.

@) Do you have a "motto"? If Yes, what is it?
"Let's see what happens."
The redneck version is, "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try something."

#) When was the last time you tasted something for the first time? What was it?
Valentine's Day. It was wasabi-flavored chocolate.

$) If you had to sacrifice one of your five senses, which would you pick?
Taste.

%) Someone left the cake out in the rain. Was it you?
No, but I did forget to adjust the micropipettor today. WHOOPS.

^) *points to the left* What's over there?
My classmate Nichole. Studiously taking notes.

&) Scarlet or Crimson?
Scarlet.

*) Do you wear anything scented? Lotion? Perfume? What scent?
Lord, yes. Today it's BPAL's "Agape."

-) Ancient Greece or Ancient Rome?
Ancient Greece, but Ancient Rome has better names.

+) Remember the time when....Make up a memory about you and me and some shenanigans!
Remember that time we went out to eat with a hamster?

[ravensword.livejournal.com]

Rome does have good names. Both cultures fascinate me.

Love me some BPAL.

+) Yeah, but I didn't like the food. It all tasted like paper. The bus ride was fun though.

[lucdarling.livejournal.com]

There is a Star Trek reboot RPF series I read that dealt a bit with this subject. It was porn, but it was also very much about the emotional aspects of being dom + sub, the way it.. not takes its toll on the person in each role, but the headspace after a scene is explored a large amount. Sorry I can't recall the title.

I am spending way too much time on Fetlife

[jennimoo.livejournal.com]

But there are whole communities over there that just analyze subspace. Being in it, creating it, managing it, etc.
I've decided to just make it my class project so I have a useful reason to be exploring to the extent I am. Yeah, that's it, it's "homework."

Re: I am spending way too much time on Fetlife

[ravensword.livejournal.com]

My experiences on Fetlife haven't yielded much in the most useful discussions. I admittedly also haven't been on there much in the last year or more.

I may poke around a bit again after I come back from Phoenix. Maybe it's just a matter of finding the "right" groups.