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ravenswordSo...you've come wandering my way ...and you think you're ready for the ride?
My friending policy is pretty simple. If you friend me, and I don't know you...whether from comments left in my journals or from common communities, etc...I won't friend back immediately.
I will visit your journal and check out your interests and such...maybe drop some comments on existing entries...and I'll expect you to do the same,...so that we can get to know one another, see? I'm a friendly sort, but I've had...experiences...and I am a lotmore protective than I once was.
If I come to your journal and find out I'm the only friend you have, I'm gonna get a little weirded out. And yes, it's happened. More than once.
If you're a regular commenter on any of my journals, or we encountered one another in person somewhere...expect I'll friend you back right quick...if I didn't get to you first.
If I do not friend you, please do not be offended. You are welcome to follow and comment on my public posts, whatever they may be. I've had enough bad experiences with people who clearly had access to my personal life to be more cautious.
Okay...that's out of the way. What's next?
For the most part I'm a pretty laid back person. But I am opinionated. I'm just usually of the opinion that my opinions are mine and feel no need to force any one to agree with them. Sometimes I rant here in this journal. Not often. But it happens. Push button issues: Food, Fat, religion, willful ignorance, personal responsibility.
I've been told my cussing can make a sailor blush. I doubt the veracity of that statement...but...I'll leave it to you to decide. I do cuss. I say shit, and damn, and hell and fuck. Yes. I like the word fuck. It's a very expressive word. You will see it from time to time here in this journal.
Also, I talk about stuff many people won't...the human body, sex, periods, blood, medical procedures...I draw the line at talking about my toilet habits and experiences...because we all have to have limits to how much we're willing to share in an online space, you know?
I have a sex filter that I almost never use. However I do talk about sex. I talk about being horny. I talk about getting laid. I talk about alternative sexual practices. I am bi-sexual and will talk about my sexual attractions to both genders. I am also polyamorous, so don't expect to hear stuff about my one true love or anything. Not happening.
I am also interested in BDSM and such, and I talk about it...about my reasons, about things that turn me on...sometimes just stuff I see or hear about. I do label and I do cut...so no one should ever have a need to read anything they don't want to...even if I don't filter.
How about the details of me?
I was born in 1968, in Jacksonville, Fla. My daddy was in the navy.
Lived in Upstate, NY from 3 to 18, then Precott, AZ for 4 months before moving to El Paso, where I lived until Dec 2000. Then we came to California. Northern California in the great San Fransico Bay Area.
I'm >40...I am mostly okay with that number. Largely because I like who I am.
5'2"-ish, with pale, freckled Irish skin and green eyes. My natural hair color has not been seen since I was 16. It is generally some shade ofred...here lately it's been black with red or green streaks....and it has been known to suddenly become black or brown or blond. I'm thinking the streaks will go green soon.
Oh...yeah. I'm fat. Rotund. Obese. I'm somewhere around 260 pounds. No, I don't want weight loss tips. I know how to eat well and most of the time I do...but this is who I am. And I make no attempt to hide or disguise that. I am a fat, sexual, horny beast of a woman.
This is me...from a photo shoot for a fetish fundraiser...
I live alone in Northern California, and I make a decent wage at my job, more so now than ever before. Which doesn't mean I don't spend my money poorly. I do. I admit that I do. But I talk about money and not having money. I talk about saving pennies to travel. I love to travel.
1) Oh...that...yes, my given name is Natalie. My Pagan name is Amara. Amara has been my online moniker for nearly as long as I've been online. I answer to both, and often don't know how to introduce myself and let the people I am with do it for me. This new name is going to take some getting used to.
3) I am obsessed with Jeffery Dean Morgan. Of course, you'll know this if you read nearly anything in this journal. And Kane. Love me them Kane boys. And music of all kinds. Much of my travel has to do with music.
4) Despite all appearances to the contrary, I have moments where I am very, very insecure.
5) I despise people who are false, who are two-faced and use my friendship to hurt me at some point. If you're coming here under false pretenses, just use the door now.
Okay...that's enough for now I think. Talk to me...tell me about you. I'm leaving this at the top of my journal for a while...so folks can see it as they wander in.
Welcome to the crazy...
My friending policy is pretty simple. If you friend me, and I don't know you...whether from comments left in my journals or from common communities, etc...I won't friend back immediately.
I will visit your journal and check out your interests and such...maybe drop some comments on existing entries...and I'll expect you to do the same,...so that we can get to know one another, see? I'm a friendly sort, but I've had...experiences...and I am a lotmore protective than I once was.
If I come to your journal and find out I'm the only friend you have, I'm gonna get a little weirded out. And yes, it's happened. More than once.
If you're a regular commenter on any of my journals, or we encountered one another in person somewhere...expect I'll friend you back right quick...if I didn't get to you first.
If I do not friend you, please do not be offended. You are welcome to follow and comment on my public posts, whatever they may be. I've had enough bad experiences with people who clearly had access to my personal life to be more cautious.
Okay...that's out of the way. What's next?
For the most part I'm a pretty laid back person. But I am opinionated. I'm just usually of the opinion that my opinions are mine and feel no need to force any one to agree with them. Sometimes I rant here in this journal. Not often. But it happens. Push button issues: Food, Fat, religion, willful ignorance, personal responsibility.
I've been told my cussing can make a sailor blush. I doubt the veracity of that statement...but...I'll leave it to you to decide. I do cuss. I say shit, and damn, and hell and fuck. Yes. I like the word fuck. It's a very expressive word. You will see it from time to time here in this journal.
Also, I talk about stuff many people won't...the human body, sex, periods, blood, medical procedures...I draw the line at talking about my toilet habits and experiences...because we all have to have limits to how much we're willing to share in an online space, you know?
I have a sex filter that I almost never use. However I do talk about sex. I talk about being horny. I talk about getting laid. I talk about alternative sexual practices. I am bi-sexual and will talk about my sexual attractions to both genders. I am also polyamorous, so don't expect to hear stuff about my one true love or anything. Not happening.
I am also interested in BDSM and such, and I talk about it...about my reasons, about things that turn me on...sometimes just stuff I see or hear about. I do label and I do cut...so no one should ever have a need to read anything they don't want to...even if I don't filter.
How about the details of me?
I was born in 1968, in Jacksonville, Fla. My daddy was in the navy.
Lived in Upstate, NY from 3 to 18, then Precott, AZ for 4 months before moving to El Paso, where I lived until Dec 2000. Then we came to California. Northern California in the great San Fransico Bay Area.
I'm >40...I am mostly okay with that number. Largely because I like who I am.
5'2"-ish, with pale, freckled Irish skin and green eyes. My natural hair color has not been seen since I was 16. It is generally some shade of
Oh...yeah. I'm fat. Rotund. Obese. I'm somewhere around 260 pounds. No, I don't want weight loss tips. I know how to eat well and most of the time I do...but this is who I am. And I make no attempt to hide or disguise that. I am a fat, sexual, horny beast of a woman.
This is me...from a photo shoot for a fetish fundraiser...
I live alone in Northern California, and I make a decent wage at my job, more so now than ever before. Which doesn't mean I don't spend my money poorly. I do. I admit that I do. But I talk about money and not having money. I talk about saving pennies to travel. I love to travel.
1) Oh...that...yes, my given name is Natalie. My Pagan name is Amara. Amara has been my online moniker for nearly as long as I've been online. I answer to both, and often don't know how to introduce myself and let the people I am with do it for me. This new name is going to take some getting used to.
3) I am obsessed with Jeffery Dean Morgan. Of course, you'll know this if you read nearly anything in this journal. And Kane. Love me them Kane boys. And music of all kinds. Much of my travel has to do with music.
4) Despite all appearances to the contrary, I have moments where I am very, very insecure.
5) I despise people who are false, who are two-faced and use my friendship to hurt me at some point. If you're coming here under false pretenses, just use the door now.
Okay...that's enough for now I think. Talk to me...tell me about you. I'm leaving this at the top of my journal for a while...so folks can see it as they wander in.
Welcome to the crazy...
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no subject
Date: 2007-03-26 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-26 02:02 pm (UTC)No need to be shy. I don't bite unless you ask me to!
Have you thought about what you want? You should email me, and we'll start the process.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-31 06:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 06:05 pm (UTC)I wish you peace and happiness..Amara.
Jenna
Please excuse my ramble below
Date: 2007-04-26 05:19 am (UTC)Second, I need to thank you. I started my journal a while back with the intention to 'drop my masks', as it were, and share things about myself I usually keep locked away. But as always, I got scared. And so I posted lightly, a tidbit of my life here, a vague opinion there. I mainly stuck to gushing over Stargate and posting a few fics I had written.
Lately, I found myself writing less and less, only giving an update on story progress and skimming over things going on in my life. Then I read what you wrote in your profile and it made me see that I was still hiding, mask firmly in place, locked away. (There was also a book I read. I did not read your words and suddenly know what was making me unhappy. That would be stalkerish. Which I'm not. But it kinda reads that way. I promise I do not have a shrine to you in my closet. That came out wrong too. Damn.)
I'm friending you because I, so far, like what you have to say. I invite you to read my journal and profile with a grain of salt. As I said, my mask is still there in most of it. (Something I plan to remedy soon.) If you don't want me to friend you or if you hate me or if you just hate this ridiculously long comment, drop me a message saying so.
Thanks again, Nyte.
Re: Please excuse my ramble below
Date: 2007-04-26 11:10 am (UTC)I actually am a fan of long, rambling comments...so don't worry about that.
I'd say "You're welcome"...but it sounds conceited or something, so instead, I'll just kinda respond.
Random responses, in no particular order:
1) Stargate gushing is always good!
2) Glad you liked the story! It was an interesting pairing to write.
3) It sounds like it should be so easy, doesn't it...to just drop the masks? Yeah, I know...it is NEVER that easy. We have them for a reason, right? They protect us or...something. I'm not perfect. Not by a long shot...I try to be balls out honest here, but it doesn't always work.
4) Please feel free to friend. I feel honored to be invited to your unmasking!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-02 12:47 am (UTC)On the surface, I am a 'nice' person. Very vanilla. I'm sorta shy around people and hold a high distrust in people.
However, on the inside, there is just something that is screaming to come out. Which is where the wonders of the internet comes in - a place where I can be more what I want to be and have the freedom to indulge in interests that people in my real life would find mind-boggling.
However, that is still a slow progress. Even though I've got this chance of a 'different identity', I still lurked around lj for nearly a year (I lurked through most of you Broken Verse - absolute love by the way), when I finally couldn't stand it and registered at the beginning of this year. It then still took me months before I finally started to use it.
The past few weeks has seen me becoming more confident and am now more prolific in posting/commenting. Hopefully I'll get to the stage where I will be able to post whatever I secretly want.
Reading your profile, I can see a lot of interests I share, though I have to ashamedly say that I still can't let go of my reservations and freely show them on my profile.
I admire your openess and what I see as confidence in your own self. I wish and hope to get to that stage myself. Please feel free to look at my journal, though it is fairly lacking in content. I would love to friend you, but only if you're ok with it.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-02 02:36 am (UTC)Welcome. Glad you found your way. Hope you get something out of it all.
The internet is a very freeing place. It's really quite amazing.
I wish I could say that I'm always confident...always witty and stuff...I'm sure if you look through my journal, you'll see that isn't true.
But I try. And I think, in the long run, that's more important than the actual doing. It's a journey not a destination (and other tired cliches that are true...despite the tired).
Friend away. I'm happy to make your acquaintance.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-02 10:40 am (UTC)I'm starting to look through journal and to read your other fics (Ages is amazing. The whole issue about whether or not you're crazy. I have a phobia and wierd facination about that)
And heh. You've mentioned food!porn. I'm not quite there yet, but my journal definitely has a food slant to it :D
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 04:53 am (UTC)So i read this little page of yours and i just had to leave something to tell you how impressed i am! I love how upfront you are about everything. I'm ninteen years old, and am afraid to say that while im happy with who i am, i have some self-image issues (but don't we all?)
As i said, I'm nineteen years old and i was born and bred in Western Sydney, Australia. I've been writing all my life, but have only just started writing for Supernatural. I'm in love with travelling and reading, and am lazier than i should be! And im also new to livejournal (still trying to figure it out!) I've been reading my way through your keeper verse fics, and i have to say im very much in love with everything about it!
So i just wanted to say that i love your work, and to keep them coming because i don't think i could live without your tortured Sam!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 11:04 am (UTC)Welcome...to LJ...to Supernatural, to my journal...I've never been to Australia, but have quite a few buddies down that way.
Nineteen....ahhh...to be 19 again...then again...no, not really. I didn't like the person I was at 19. I rather like the person I am at 38 much better.
Thank you, btw, Keeper Sam is among my favorite things in the whole wide world.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-06 06:04 pm (UTC)I've been reading your fics for a while, and have reviewed anonymously before, but now I've got me very own livejournal, I'm floating around collecting all my favourite peeps in one place - if you're on my profile I'll never loose you again in the LJ!verse.
Your welcome post to everyone visiting here is refreshingly honest. I think a lot of people online do like to hide behind their online alter-egos, myself included. I've chatted to my RL friends about some of my obsessions (Supernatural at the moment), but it's hard as they don't share the obsession, and generally have never seen the show. (They are pretty much all drama-bods and out working/socialising/whatever in London most of the time). I can't imagine confessing that I'm currently into Wincest - I mean how do you go about explaining that gay incestuous porn is out there and very enjoyable to read. Ugh, ain't happening, not with my RL friends. LJ journal friends, though, that's another matter.
In an effort to keep RL and online life separate I have 2 myspace accounts, 2 websites, and 2 email addresses (well, 6 if you count work, an old hotmail one, a dummy yahoo one set up a long time ago to hate!spam an evil person and a general one for me and the husband combined). The RL me also has a facebook, but it's only the online me that plays with LJ. Sheesh, it all gets very confusing, and sometimes I totally don't know who I'm supposed to be!
Anyway, this comment is turning into a bit of a counselling session, but really it's just me talking to myself.
My real name is Jacki, but online I go by:
twiglet
::twiglet::
twigletmoo
doop
Er, I'm sure I have more, but I'll stop there for now!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-06 10:08 pm (UTC)Its a weird fact of life that all of us are complex creatures and the # of things we have in common with any one other person is only a minute part of who we are.
Most of my RL friends are people who have only one thing in common,...but it keeps life interesting.
And yes, the number of people in our RL who understand the appeal of gay incest porn is relatively small...but that's okay too.
So...feel free to chime in on anything you find here that makes you think, giggle, seethe with anger...etc.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 03:02 pm (UTC)I hope you don't mind.
only recently gotten into Supernatural but i am practically inhaling all good wincest-fic! i cannot wait until friday! :P
i'm a student in Aberystwyth, Wales, studying history and i spend far too much time reading fic when i should be revising... like today for example.
have a nice day!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 03:13 pm (UTC)Supernatural will eat your brain. Consider yourself warned! LOL.
Wales, eh? That's a good lengthy ways a way from me! Someday I'll get over to that whole Europe-y place and visit all the wonderful places I've only read about in stories.
History is fun. I wish I'd paid more attention when I was in school.
Welcome. Make yourself comfy.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 03:16 pm (UTC)supernatural has eaten my brain! i watched season 2 up to episode 21 in 2 days... i was so engrossed! and then a friend rec'd me fic and it has all gone down hill from there!
no subject
Date: 2007-06-07 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 06:59 am (UTC)Thanks for this 'bumped up' post and honesty. Myself...I'm shy. I just got an LJ a/c and have no computer skills really, but I'm trying. People like you make me want to know how to do all the fancy stuff, but I can't tear myself away (for very long)from your fic especially to teach myself.lol.
Also you share my name! OMG, so if I didn't you know like you already I would have to...by like default or something? :)
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 05:54 pm (UTC)Feel free to make yourself at home and I'll get to know you...probably friend you back once I have...just taking the friending thing kinda slow. My friends page is simply humongous and it takes forever to get through it.
I don't friends lock much so you won't be missing anything!
Have fun!
no subject
Date: 2007-06-10 10:30 pm (UTC):)
Random praising :)
Date: 2007-06-13 02:41 pm (UTC)1. How you find the time to write soooo much. And always answer to comments, and have all the RL stuff going on too. I spend so much time reading I hardly ever have enough left to do anything else. How many hours do your days have exactly?!?
2. Your hair. Is just so gorgeous.
3. Your writing...OMG, is just perfect. Not just the way it is written but where do you get so many ideas and universes and plots and...! Amazing and hot and guh and yeah, I'm not too good at reviews *shrugs*
4. Your honesty. Very cool and refreshing and brave to just come out and say things. Totally admirable.
So thank you for all that and more that I can't write here because it'd take forever.
Also, I'm not sure you've ever heard of a LJ community called 50kinkyways. Not only do they have some great authors and fics but they have a prompt table that totally should have your name on it and since you sometimes ask for prompts, I just thought I'd mention it since I've been waiting for a J2 or SPN table (Flinchflower did an awesome one btw)to show up ;)
Again, thks for being you!
PS: As you've probably noticed, I know nothing of coding... like I said, lurk and read is all I have time for.
Re: Random praising :)
Date: 2007-06-13 03:18 pm (UTC)Thanks for taking the time to say Hi!
As far as I know I haven't yet bent the space time continuum in my pursuit of time to write. I do, however, ride the train to work most days, spending at least an hour in transit both to and from, which gives me two hours a day that I usually spend writing. I also use most of my lunch hours to write.
I am aware of
To be honest with you, my brain is a frightening place and I often have no idea where the ideas come from! I have learned not to question and just go with the flow.
Thanks for the compliments (and the bit about my hair made me blush!). And thanks again for de-lurking to say hello!
no subject
Date: 2007-06-19 06:03 pm (UTC)Me too, except I was born in 1979.
I hadn't seen mine in about 10 years when I decided I was curious as to what color it was. I'm not sure I care for it but am feeling to lazy to color it and keep it up.
You won't find a whole lot about me in this journal. I have another one where I talk more about myself. I admire you unmasking, it is something I want to do and so tell myself I should do. However, I haven't done it yet, but I admire you for doing it.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 12:54 pm (UTC)I'm Rhiannon, or Rhi, (real name Wendy), and I wanted to say hi and why I added you as a friend to my journal. Firstly, I like meeting other pagans. Rhiannon is my pagan name and has been my online moniker for the last seven years. Secondly, I'm a huge fan of your work, especially the broken!verse and keeper!verse. I have kept every chapter of both series (including those written by
Take care
Rhi.