Sounds to me like you've just got a clear-eyed, logical, mature approach to "falling/being in love." And that you are able (and willing) to compartmentalize after the breakup. (Also, at risk of sounding like an armchair psychologist, you pull away before it gets to that point so it doesn't hurt as much when it comes. Insulating yourself, as a survival mechanism.)
There's nothing broken about that, it's just the way you are. It's not reflected often in the romantic [comedy] genre aimed at women, or whatever is deemed chick-lit, etc because we as a society have romanticized the fairytale narrative.
It's also a different thing to be IN the relationship that's just ended and be the third party hearing about it. I'm pretty sure a year afterward is too long a time period to be mooning after the former lover. There's no need for it to take over your life like that; it disables the person from fully integrating back into life before the person. I mean, clearly they will be changed from/by the relationship but if it's not going to come back... you gotta wake up one day and move the hell on. It's not cold or uncaring to see that (or say it), it just might be unwelcome.
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Date: 2013-03-06 05:51 pm (UTC)There's nothing broken about that, it's just the way you are. It's not reflected often in the romantic [comedy] genre aimed at women, or whatever is deemed chick-lit, etc because we as a society have romanticized the fairytale narrative.
It's also a different thing to be IN the relationship that's just ended and be the third party hearing about it. I'm pretty sure a year afterward is too long a time period to be mooning after the former lover. There's no need for it to take over your life like that; it disables the person from fully integrating back into life before the person. I mean, clearly they will be changed from/by the relationship but if it's not going to come back... you gotta wake up one day and move the hell on. It's not cold or uncaring to see that (or say it), it just might be unwelcome.