ravensword (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ravensword) wrote2013-01-31 08:48 am
ravensword) wrote2013-01-31 08:48 am
Entry tags:
I'm not lonely just because I'm alone
So...most of the time, I'm happy with my life. I'm single, and largely prefer it that way.
Every now and again, I crave...something. The problem is, I don't want a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend" really.
If I were going to say exactly what I want...I think it would be friends who sometimes have sex without it becoming...weird.
Is that...weird? I don't want to ever be someone's one and only. I don't really get the whole romantic thing. I've never been "in love"...though I love deeply and easily.
I have no interest in "going out" on dates. But I love getting together with friends.
Sometimes this desire gets the better of me and I make an effort to "put myself out there". I don't know why. It almost always ends in tears. Okay, not tears, but frustration and attitude and just walking away.
Yesterday I put a profile up on OKCupid. I have friends who have used and liked it. I figured it wouldn't hurt. I was pretty open about what I do and don't want, made it clear the kind of people I'm interested in.
It wasn't an hour and I was ready to shut the whole thing down. UGH. It kinda boils down to: men are stupid. Why do they all think that despite the fact that they are everything I said I didn't want, they somehow will change my mind with their poorly written, typo riddled, first contact email the gist of which is "BABY, U SO HOT. WANT TO SEE U." and a phone number is going to change my mind?
Also? Why do I seem to attract black men in their mid 20s (color of their skin doesn't matter, but I do not need a baby)? And what is with the "Hi" email? I mean...say something. Just Hi and nothing else makes me think you're creepy. Oh, and don't call me honey or baby or babe before you've even spoken to me. GRR... (and people wonder why I don't date...lol)
All that said, I am actually enjoying an email exchange with a photographer from San Jose and another guy, though he's from back east, so that will clearly be an email thing, which is okay. I don't know that anything will come from it, but I know I've been ridiculously horny lately, so...maybe....we'll see...
Which brings me to questions. Sorry in advance, they're gonna be a little thinky.
I know that I'm not "normal" when it comes to relationships and what I want. So, tell me about your ideal romantic relationship.
1) If you feel comfortable (and I don't already know) are you straight, bi, gay or other?
2) How do you define your approach to romantic relationships? Are you monogamous? Poly?
3) Have you ever been "in love"?
4) Did it work out?
5) Can you love a person and spend time with them and have sex with them without being "In-love"?
6) Are you looking for (or have you found) your "soul mate"?
7) What does that mean for you?
8) Does your relationship define you?
9) Are you a jealous person? Is your SO?
And maybe a few easy ones:
a) Name a color
b) What is your middle name?
c) What is the first nickname you can remember being called?
d) Penguins or Turtles?
e) How do you like your pirates, Disney-fied or realistic?
f) Jeffrey Dean Morgan or John Winchester?
g) Handcuffs or rope?
h) Leather or lace?
i) What is your favorite Popsicle flavor?
j) Do you chew gum?
k) Favorite thing to do on a cold, wet day?
l) Chicken soup or Spaghetti and meatballs
m) Scented lotion or plain?
n) Favorite toy?
o) What is the first thing you can see on your right, right now?
p) What is the first thing near you that is written in pen or pencil? What does it say?
q) Earth, Air, Fire, Water
r) First thing you take off when you get home from work/school?
s) Something you want but do not need.
t) Something true
u) Something made up
v) Something about you
w) Something about me
x) What makes you laugh?
y) Are you a "file as soon as I can" or a "file at the last minute" kind of tax person?
z) Are we done yet?
Every now and again, I crave...something. The problem is, I don't want a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend" really.
If I were going to say exactly what I want...I think it would be friends who sometimes have sex without it becoming...weird.
Is that...weird? I don't want to ever be someone's one and only. I don't really get the whole romantic thing. I've never been "in love"...though I love deeply and easily.
I have no interest in "going out" on dates. But I love getting together with friends.
Sometimes this desire gets the better of me and I make an effort to "put myself out there". I don't know why. It almost always ends in tears. Okay, not tears, but frustration and attitude and just walking away.
Yesterday I put a profile up on OKCupid. I have friends who have used and liked it. I figured it wouldn't hurt. I was pretty open about what I do and don't want, made it clear the kind of people I'm interested in.
It wasn't an hour and I was ready to shut the whole thing down. UGH. It kinda boils down to: men are stupid. Why do they all think that despite the fact that they are everything I said I didn't want, they somehow will change my mind with their poorly written, typo riddled, first contact email the gist of which is "BABY, U SO HOT. WANT TO SEE U." and a phone number is going to change my mind?
Also? Why do I seem to attract black men in their mid 20s (color of their skin doesn't matter, but I do not need a baby)? And what is with the "Hi" email? I mean...say something. Just Hi and nothing else makes me think you're creepy. Oh, and don't call me honey or baby or babe before you've even spoken to me. GRR... (and people wonder why I don't date...lol)
All that said, I am actually enjoying an email exchange with a photographer from San Jose and another guy, though he's from back east, so that will clearly be an email thing, which is okay. I don't know that anything will come from it, but I know I've been ridiculously horny lately, so...maybe....we'll see...
Which brings me to questions. Sorry in advance, they're gonna be a little thinky.
I know that I'm not "normal" when it comes to relationships and what I want. So, tell me about your ideal romantic relationship.
1) If you feel comfortable (and I don't already know) are you straight, bi, gay or other?
2) How do you define your approach to romantic relationships? Are you monogamous? Poly?
3) Have you ever been "in love"?
4) Did it work out?
5) Can you love a person and spend time with them and have sex with them without being "In-love"?
6) Are you looking for (or have you found) your "soul mate"?
7) What does that mean for you?
8) Does your relationship define you?
9) Are you a jealous person? Is your SO?
And maybe a few easy ones:
a) Name a color
b) What is your middle name?
c) What is the first nickname you can remember being called?
d) Penguins or Turtles?
e) How do you like your pirates, Disney-fied or realistic?
f) Jeffrey Dean Morgan or John Winchester?
g) Handcuffs or rope?
h) Leather or lace?
i) What is your favorite Popsicle flavor?
j) Do you chew gum?
k) Favorite thing to do on a cold, wet day?
l) Chicken soup or Spaghetti and meatballs
m) Scented lotion or plain?
n) Favorite toy?
o) What is the first thing you can see on your right, right now?
p) What is the first thing near you that is written in pen or pencil? What does it say?
q) Earth, Air, Fire, Water
r) First thing you take off when you get home from work/school?
s) Something you want but do not need.
t) Something true
u) Something made up
v) Something about you
w) Something about me
x) What makes you laugh?
y) Are you a "file as soon as I can" or a "file at the last minute" kind of tax person?
z) Are we done yet?