Thinky Questions about sex?
Jan. 24th, 2013 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenswordSo, I'm having this interesting discussion on the CNN Belief Blog that began as getting one person to tell his story of belief, and sort of segued into a discussion about promiscuity.
And...it got me thinking about how so many "born agains" (mind you, I'm talking about a very specific subset of Christianity, not all of Christianity), talk about their "salvation" they say that before they found god, they were "promiscuous" and for me, that forms a certain opinion in my mind about what they mean. But when pressed for specifics, they mean something very, very different with that word.
Now, I have a pretty good mix of folks reading this journal, from many backgrounds and religious positions, so I thought I'd bring the discussion here too.
1) What is promiscuity to you?
2) Is promiscuity *bad*?
3) Do you apply the term to both men and women? Equally?
4) Does your use of the word rely on your religious belief (or lack thereof)?
5) Is it quantitative or qualitative?
6) Do you consider yourself promiscuous? Anyone you know?
7) Does the act of sex create or maintain some level of intimacy for you?
8) Can you have sex without intimacy?
9) Can you have intimacy without sex?
10) Does the sexual orientation of the person have any bearing on whether they are considered promiscuous?
And...it got me thinking about how so many "born agains" (mind you, I'm talking about a very specific subset of Christianity, not all of Christianity), talk about their "salvation" they say that before they found god, they were "promiscuous" and for me, that forms a certain opinion in my mind about what they mean. But when pressed for specifics, they mean something very, very different with that word.
Now, I have a pretty good mix of folks reading this journal, from many backgrounds and religious positions, so I thought I'd bring the discussion here too.
1) What is promiscuity to you?
2) Is promiscuity *bad*?
3) Do you apply the term to both men and women? Equally?
4) Does your use of the word rely on your religious belief (or lack thereof)?
5) Is it quantitative or qualitative?
6) Do you consider yourself promiscuous? Anyone you know?
7) Does the act of sex create or maintain some level of intimacy for you?
8) Can you have sex without intimacy?
9) Can you have intimacy without sex?
10) Does the sexual orientation of the person have any bearing on whether they are considered promiscuous?
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no subject
Date: 2013-01-24 05:14 pm (UTC)1) What is promiscuity to you? I always thought that promiscuity referred to people that have sex indiscriminately. That's not to say just having sex for the sake of sex; sometimes, that can be a good, healthy choice. Nor is it about having a lot of sex, that's different, too. It's having sex without thought or care for consequences to yourself or others. Sex for the wrong reasons, kind of, though everyone has to make their own judgement about a good/bad reason to have sex.
2) Is promiscuity *bad*? I think, at the core, it kind of has to be, if only because it's inherently unhealthy and dangerous. It's hard to think of an upside to it, you know? So, for me, yeah. That's not to say it's sinful, because again, that's an individual judgement. But I think it's bad, yeah.
3) Do you apply the term to both men and women? Equally? I do, and I try to do so equally, though it probably gets used more for women and gay men, the category that I feel is most at risk from that kind of behavior. Plus, mother of a teenage daughter here. *g* But it should apply to both, and equally.
4) Does your use of the word rely on your religious belief (or lack thereof)? Um, I think it's only fair to say that my religious beliefs formed the initial reaction to the term, but I think now I'm more likely to use it apart from that. Yes, my religious beliefs frown on it, but I have issues with it aside from those beliefs. So, yes and no, to that one.
5) Is it quantitative or qualitative? I think it can be applied to both, but I tend to view it more qualitatively. It's not just having a lot of sex, for me, it's what kind of sex are you having, and why? But often I find one leads to the other. I don't know many people having at risk sex that aren't having quite a bit of it.
6) Do you consider yourself promiscuous? Anyone you know? No, I don't. I've been monogamous for 25 years now, but that's not to say I don't have leanings in that area. With my childhood, it would have been very easy for me to become promiscuous, and it was sometimes a deliberate choice not to be so. Even now, I know I have much more lax standard or morality, seemingly, when it comes to sex than a lot people I know. Being a bisexual switch tends to help with that. *g* As for the second question, I did know someone that I considered promiscuous, though she didn't have sex that often, in fairness. She was just utterly indiscriminate in her choices for partner/situation/timing.
7) Does the act of sex create or maintain some level of intimacy for you? I think it should, though sometimes, it's just a stress release. I think you do tend to feel closer to your partner, after, and I think for me, it almost always comes with some intimacy.
8) Can you have sex without intimacy? Yeah, sure, you betcha. *g*
9) Can you have intimacy without sex? Absolutely. Of the two, intimacy can often be far more rewarding and harder to achieve and maintain. I know lots of people that have sex, but a lot of them are terrified of true intimacy, and will break up when things start leading that way.
10) Does the sexual orientation of the person have any bearing on whether they are considered promiscuous? Fairly or not, I think it does. I think for someone my age, that lived through the whole "sexual revolution yadda-yadda", gay men got lambasted for promiscuity. Now, we're more likely to apply it to a heterosexual teenage girl, honestly. It shouldn't, but I think it often does.